Just because I’ve been irritated all day..
It irritates the crap out of me when you get me mad/pissed and than you start to sweet talk me and butter me up with all your shit? Like.. uhh really? Bi-Polar much? You really are going to try and be nice and sweet talk to me after all that shit?! WTF.
It irritates me when people act like nothing happened after a bad situation or something and you come up to me acting like ain’t nothing wrong, like it just makes me more mad and want to just cuss you out because of how stupid you are. I’m mad at you and acted like that for a reason than you going to come up to me like ain’t shit happened like wtf? were you not there, were you not paying attention at all to the situation?
I swear bad habit of mine is I get irritated way to easily.
Sometimes when I feel like I just had enough, and don’t want to deal with anything or anyone. I’m just like fuck it whatever and not care at all.
It’s true when people tell me you don’t need a lot of friends in your life, just a those close few. I can say I have those close few people in my life that truly mean a lot to me. Some people I don’t talk to anymore or hardly but the still have had made an impact in my life some how that makes them mean a lot, but everyone has that type of person in their life.
I’m just writing this post because we don’t really show our appreciate to those people who really do mean a lot to us in our lives and this is just for this is just for those close friends that I do have, and how much I appreciate them also how blessed and thankful I am to have them in my life.
Jeff Tyrone Vito, the only guy and person I know that seriously knows me inside and out. He knows when I’m truly happy, when something is wrong, when I’m just bull shitting about stuff, ha etc. He truly knows the person that I am and how I am from everything from the past to now. Even though he lives in the Philippines now I still think about him of coarse and to keep in touch with him and just tell him everything that’s just going on with me. We always try to update each other and every time we do talk its like nothing awkward or anything has changed our friendship is still the same. We had our time in the past and I’m just grateful that he still here in my life, he just means so much to me.. he is just that one guy that really no one can replace in my life. Since we do hardly talk now since its hard to communicate, I do want him to know just how much he still means to me.
Josh Ross, Everyone has their first love first boyfriend thing and this is him. We had our friendship and our relationship in the past but he is that first boyfriend/love thing and you just never forget those. Even though we don’t talk anymore due to our past and it’s just hard trying to keep a friendship with him, he has made a impact in my life. I do care and love him still and thats a promise I told him that Im still keeping. He showed me a lot, mostly about myself and what I needed to do. There are plenty of mistakes I have made that I do regret but, am learning from it. He really did taught me a lot, he doesn’t know it though. Writing this about him is hard, he means something special to me still and it’s just hard to explain what I feel and means to me, I’m thankful I got to be part of his life for a couple months.
Melanie Catacutan, The only close girl friend of mine. So Im thankful to call her my best/ate/sis. She has always been there for me no matter what, I know she is always their for me and got my back. We sure did go through a lot of ups and downs, but in the end I know she will always be there for me. Even though this friend of mine we haven’t officially met or anything, doesn’t matter because her friendship that we got matters more. I’m glad out of the couple girls I know she is the true close friend of mine who I know I can trust and that means a lot to me.
So, lately my mind has just been on a roller coster of emotions and feelings that is just all over, with ups and downs, turns and twist. Which just makes it harder to even get through the day and night with all these thoughts. I literally need to always find something to do during the day to get it off my mind, which has been working out but at the end of the day there it is all coming back again but, even worse it’s night time now and I start to have trouble sleeping.
It’s hard because when you have all this build up in you, you can’t just help but cry to ease the pain. Every other night I have to cry to just even end up sleeping and I hate it. I hate these feelings I’ve just been getting. What I don’t like is I don’t want to seem selfish or anything in any way because I know there is way more important things I need to worry and think about, but it’s just so hard not..
People say just for get it, don’t let it get to you. I understand how you feel, don’t worry. You shouldn’t even feel like this and etc. It’s just really hard, sometimes I don’t even like to say anything to anyone because they don’t seem to get the full understanding of how I am, how I feel, and why I’m like this so I’m just like what’s the point of even telling you, when your not even helping at all.
I basically feel like I’m just stuck because when I talk to someone I never get that support or help I know I need, I know people are there for me and are trying there best to help me because I appreciate it but the feelings are still there you know? Then when I hold it in, it’s a struggle for me because I still feel the way I feel and Im just building up more pain and emotions in.. One day I will overcome all these and truly just let everything go and not have to think about any of this since I’ve had things feelings in me for way to long now.